Transformers: The Movie (1986) Review

I am not a huge Transformers fan, never was. I never really understood the whole concept of the series, robot aliens that transform into vehicles and weaponry, fighting to defend mankind from the evil Megatron and his legion of Decepticons. That's what I got out of it, and I guess the whole reason the franchise exists is to sell merchandise like toys, comic books and video games. I myself have very few Transformers toys in my collection, but I remember growing up in the early 2000s when my cousins were into Transformers action figures, often transforming them into their respective vehicles then transforming them back into their robot forms then breaking them and trying to fix them then getting angry and throwing the darn hunk of plastic on the hard floor. It was madness, and I often wondered why people were fascinated with toys that took on two different forms. Who ever designed those toys must have had a long time on their hands, because years later, I myself would take part in some Transformers assembly, and let me tell you, it's hair-raising. Sometimes things don't go together properly or parts break off or something goes in backwards, I rather do a rubix cube with my toes while blindfolded. It was excruciating, and Transformers would be a name that would haunt me for many years to come. That is until 2007 when the first of Michael Bay's Transformers trilogy was released. I saw it, enjoyed it and really got interested in what Transformers were all about, the story and morals of the series, and what made each Transformers character different from the other. Until the release of Revenge of the Fallen, I indulged myself in the realm of a cult classic Transformers film, which is my favorite film to bare the Transformers title, an animated film with some of the best animation sequences to ever hit my eyes and voice acting that is some of the best to ever grace my ears. This film has become a favorite to all Transformers purists and retro movie lovers alike, and even though some call it a feature length toy commercial, because it introduced a lot of elements that could be made into plastic form, it still has that slick, colorful, fun loving 80s feeling to it and action and suspense only the robots in disguise could bring to the dinner table. Consumers, buckle up your seat belts, because this is one crazy, eye popping, ear blowing, head banging, chair throwing, blood pumping, animated flickster that I have a lot to say about.

I see a lot of Star Wars in this film. From the opening crawl, which we all know originated from the classic action serials from the 1940s to the epic battle between Optimus Prime and Megatron, you can see a lot of the galaxy far far away in this film. Unicron, the planet size cyborg voiced by the late Orson Welles, annihilates planets just tlike the Death Star, and I can't help but hear a little Darth Vader in Welles' tone. As a matter of fact, I was observing a Star Wars documentary the other day and James Earl Jones said that George Lucas was planning on having Orson Welles do the voice for Darth Vader, just before Lucas selected Jones for the job. Interesting, isn't it, and the Star Wars comparisons don't end there. The pink plated lady robot, Arcee, has this Princess Leia thing going on upon her head, large saucer like disks on both sides of her head just like the cinnabuns on both sides of Leia's head. Gee, Padme would be jealous! I also can't help but feel that Optimus Prime is like Obi-Wan Kenobi, this wise old master, teaching noble lessons to each one the Transformers like a jedi master teaching his jedi padawan about the force and what they can do with it. Eventually, the wise old master sacrifices himself to save his pupils, becoming mortally wounded and unable to  be revived, going up to the heavens in the sky, becoming one with the matrix, becoming one with the force. The legacy of the wise old master lives within his students, and throughout the Transformers film, we see the Transformers characters constantly recall Optimus's teachings, allowing it to guide them in the right direction and overcome evil, kinda like Luke being guided by the spirit of Obi-Wan, telling him to use the force and take out the Death Star. Agree with me, do you? I can't see why you wouldn't because the impact of Star Wars has inspired many other classic tales, and I often point them out when watching movies, observing their guidelines and life changing lessons. 

The voice acting in this film is really fitting for each and every one of the characters. As I said before, Orson Welles does the voice for Unicron, the dreaded "Death Star" like Transformer that blows planets to smithereens and commands the Decepticons to spread evil throughout the universe. Interesting to note that this was actually the final role Welles ever played, "a giant toy that destroys other toys" as he put it. But I think everyone will agree with me when I say that Welles does an INCREDIBLE job playing the menacingly powerful voice of Unicron, giving you that bone chilling feeling and making your heart beat very fast every time you hear that villainous voice. And how fitting, because I couldn't picture anybody else playing the powerful voice of the gigantic Unicron better than Charles Foster Kane, I mean, Orson Welles, for his voice is one of the most recognizable voices of all time, up there with other actors like James Earl Jones and Vincent Price. There are also a lot of other exemplary voice actors in this film as well, some of them the most powerful voice actors of the 1980s. Casey Kasem, who you all know as Shaggy from Scooby Doo, really cuts the cake when playing the voice of Cliffhanger, whose butt-kicking reflexes and agility are enough to make Sylvester Stallone run home to mama. Hong Kong Phooey, Scatman Crothers, also takes part in this film as his respected role from the television series, Jazz, the slick, funky, stylish Autobot who always knows how to put up a fair fight, even it it means being broken into two by Megatron, as seen in Michael Bay's first blockbuster Transformers film. Ironically, this was also his final role as well, looks like we got ourselves a little Tranformers movie curse going on here! Other voice actors include the Micro Machines Man, John Moschitta Jr. as Blurr, Eric Idle as Wreck-Gar, Frank Welker as Megatron, Soundwave, Rumble and several others, Corey Burton as Shockwave, even Leonard Nimoy as the voice of Galvatron. And it looks like Nimoy's Transformers craze doesn't end there, for he will be voicing Sentinel Prime in the upcoming Transformers: Dark of the Moon film, just as long as Sentinel doesn't perform a Vulcan mind meld on one of the Transformers. 

And I'm sure everyone has heard about the swearing and curse words said in the film, a little too intense for little youngsters at the time, which is why they were cut out in many later releases of the film. Another thing considered too intense was the violence in this film. Set in 2005, 20 years after the events of the first two seasons of the animated series, this film shows Autobots and Decepticons going at it all the way. They bash each other, they smash each other, even blow each other to dust, some of our most beloved Transformers characters getting the ultimate shaft in this film, including Optimus Prime himself. Only they didn't just scrap his death aside like they did in Revenge of the Fallen, they made a whole segment about it, the dying Optimus lying on his deathbed, passing the all powerful matrix to Ultra Magnus just before croaking. I don't know why so many people were upset over this scene, sure it was sad and all, but IT'S A CARTOON ROBOT. HE COMES BACK LIKE ALL GREAT CHARACTERS DO. Superman came back when he died, Spock came back when he died, so it was quite obvious that Optimus would one day rise from the dead, so I just don't get why people get all puffy eyed and tearful when this scene comes along in the film. But thank God good old Grimlock doesn't get killed off in this film. This mechanical Tyrannosaurus rex, voiced by Gregg Berger is one of my all time favorite Transformers characters, because he just so darn funny, and the other Dinobots are pee pants hilarious as well. But it's Grimlock that steals the show, and even if he's clumsy and dim-witted in a lot of scenes, he still knows how to put up a good brawl, although he's considered a grasshopper compared to a lot of the bulkier, more powerful Decepticons. And speaking of brawls, this film has a lot of them, the iconic fight between Optimus Prime and Megatron being one of the greatest fights between good and evil, both giant robots literally bashing the living lights out of one another. The fight between Hot Rod and Galvatron was also pretty intense, for even though they are robots, they are still capable of pain and agony, both robots stopping at nothing to knock one another into the burning depths of oblivion. That's what I like about films, a lot of hard-core, non stop action and excitement. It keeps the kids entertained, and I really enjoy seeing two people who don't agree with one another duke it out in an all mighty pound down of destruction. Gotta love it! 

But hands down, the greatest thing that keeps this film going, and makes it one of the most unique animated films of it's time is the animated style. I think I could sum the whole thing up in one word, STELLAR! This movie has some of the most interesting, intriguing, unique, animated sequences I have ever laid eyes on, for it was colorful, diverse, and fun to look at. It's like a crazy ride at an amusement park, full of lights, interesting sounds, and nonstop movement, sucking you out of reality and into another universe you thought never existed. The best animated scene in this film is undeniable the scene where Unicron is constructed new armor and designs for each and every one of the Decepticons. We are treated to a sketchy combination of lines, blue print effects, and groovy music, playing as each part of each Decepticon is constructed, for we observe each robots' inners, mechanisms and wiring, showing us what exactly is within a Transformer and how Unicron is capable of improving the shape of each and every one of these bad boy Decepticons. Even the opening title sequence has a groovy, "blackhole" like effect to it, sucking us into the action and glamour of the film we were just about the watch.The animated style really does ring 80s goodness, and if I was to pick one animated film from the 80s that was different from the rest, I would surely pick Transformers: The Movie, for it was animation that will make your eyes bleed in fascination. The music that accompanies the animation is also a feast fit for a king. I loved the techno style, the harmonious melodies, and jumpy, overwhelming style to each epic pieces heard throughout the film, for it surely add depth to all the characters, locations and the plot present in the film.The theme for Unicron is laid back, but also menacing and spooky at the same time, saying that you better not mess with Unicron, for he will send you to a place you don't wanna be sent to. The theme played during Optimus' death scene is also pretty satisfying as well, symbolizing Optimus' declining death, his slow heartbeat, and his eventually loss of life. As I said before, the whole scene doesn't get to me that much, but the music played during the scene really makes the scene very somber and gloomy, allowing us to feel pain, sympathy, and sadness over the loss of the most iconic of the Transformers. Vince DiCola really throws the ball throw the hoop composing the music for this film, for it adds profundity, suspense and value to each legendary scene, making them memorable and easily recognizable. But hands down the most cheerful and signature song out of the entire film is Stan Bush's song "The Touch" a song specifically written to promote the film, but has an everlasting appeal on all pop media lovers. Every time you hear this song, you immediately think Transformers: The Movie, you immediately think of Optimus Prime's final battle with Megatron, you immediately think of the action present in the film, which often had you on the age of your seat and had you wondering what would occur next. The Touch defies what the Transformers are all about, what they wanna prove and teaches us not to give up, be brave, be strong, take a couple risks and you can overcome anything thrown in your way. You have the power to do anything if you put your mind to it and keep moving forward. Weird Al Yankovic's Dare to Be Stupid is also a pivotal song from the film, making us think of the clunky action sequences and humor present in the film, particularly in the characters of Grimlock and Jazz. Weird Al Yankovic would later go on to voice Wreck-Gar in the 2008 Transformers Animated Series and even reference the song in an episode. Funny guy, Weird Al Yankovic is, parodying many fabulous songs and turning them into his own creations. 

When all is said and done, Transformers: The Movie sticks out like a sore thumb, but has an everlasting appeal, an appeal that will stick with me for a lifetime. This film defines the entire Transformers series, the front gates are open in this film, and they were willing to take any risk at the sake of making a good film. Although some site this as a catastrophe, I think they hit the nail on the head, and this is by far my favorite Transformers film of the bunch. Maybe I'll change my mind when Dark of the Moon hits theaters this week, maybe I won't but Transformers: The Movie is one hell of a ride I would go on any day, a real treat for all people to behold, even if you aren't the biggest Transformers fan on the planet. It's got great action, fighting sequences, blood boiling music that will loom in your head for hours, likable characters that children and adults alike will come to cherish, and a retro 80s filling that can not be matched. I think it's better than any of the Michael Bay films, although I do think they are good films as well, but for one of the first Transformers films to be released in the theater, what more could you ask for in Transformers: The Movie. Sit down and watch this with surround sound and you are in for a journey of a lifetime, and maybe, if we are lucky, they will release this film in 3-D Imax. How incredible would this movie be on the big Imax screen, with loud music and  3-dimensional effects. If they could do it with Toy Story, they could surely do it with this film, because this is the film that really sums up Transformers for me. Robots in disguise that either retain justice, prosperity, and order across the universe or terrorize all soil, bidding to conquer it and claim it as their own, taking all lifeforms into unbreakable slavery. This film displays betrayal, wisdom, revenge, redemption, and restoration, showing that even fictional cartoon robots have feelings, and are willing to do anything to make sure that everything goes smoothly. And who knows, maybe someday, someone will use the power of the matrix to light our darkest hour, you never know, but whatever debacle is upon us in that fictional dimension, the Transformers will be there to make sure all evil is dealt with and given what they deserve. 

Halloween Fridays Part 1

.Welcome back everyone. Today is Friday, October 2, exactly 29 days to Halloween. To celebrate this haunted holiday of death, each Friday leading up to Halloween, I will be doing tributes to some of the best movie monsters of all time. Now, as a nostalgia freak, I know that their are a lot of movie monsters out their, Frankenstein’s Monster, Dracula, the Wolf Man, and the Creature from the Black Lagoon to name a few. But what’s the movie monsters that I really like? What movie monsters do I think surpass the title movie monsters? Well, sit back, grab your favorite monster mask and enjoy the first in a series of Halloween Fridays leading up to All Hallows Eve. Enjoy.



The first monster that I would like to have recognized is It from….well…It. This is the movie clown that really brought out the term Coulraphobia. This is one of the most scariest clowns of all time, and for many reasons. Not only does this monster take the form of a demented clown, he takes the form of old woman, giant spiders, zombies, and even the Wolf Man. Based upon Stephen King’s original novel, it is a force that is said to have developed in a void surrounding the universe, taking the form of the horrid Pennywise the Clown. And can you believe he is played by the same guy who plays the dragqueen in The Rocky Horror Picture Show (Watch it, it’s a good movie)? Though he is demented, and somewhat dangerous, Tim Curry did a fantastic job in the TV specials, that when played all together, it’s a four hour long movie.

You don’t mess with Pennywise. This demon can rips arms off young children’s arms, use balloons filled with blood to scare the main characters of the film, and warp those who look into his eyes. Throughout the entire movie, I was getting angry. I wanted those main characters to beat the living tar out of this antagonist, but I was relieved in the end when they tore that son of a gun apart. Though he makes me angry and he is very terrifying, It is a very well thought out villain, and one of the most scary things I have ever seen in my life. Look out for his razer sharp teeth because he just might take a heeping bite out of you!

There you have it, my first installment of Halloween Fridays. Toon in next Friday, October 9th, when I will pay tribute to another movie monster. Take care

Halloween Fridays Part 2

Welcome back to another fine installment of Halloween Fridays here on my website. Can you believe a week has gone by already? It’s seems like yesterday I was just paying tribute to Stephen King’s It. But anyway, I am back again to pay tribute to another famous movie monster. Now before I tell you who it is, I will give you some hints. He’s green, he’s slimy, and he lives in a place called Black Lagoon. He appeared in a 1954 film directed by Jack Arnold. Don’t got a clue. It’s the Creature from the Black Lagoon of course. This creature is not only vile, but iconic, and starred in the Black Lagoon sequels, Revenge of the Creature and The Creature Walks Among Us.



The Gill Man as he is known to be is an amphibious creature that lives in the waters of Black Lagoon. He can breath in the water and out, and is effected by a rotenone, a chemical that is often used for an insecticide. He is very fast, very strong and kills on anyone who visits the Black Lagoon. He is also impervious to things that would kill us humans like gun shot wounds and immolation. In the third film, The Creature Walks Among Us, we discover that the Gill Man has a set of lungs, in case of mortally damaged his gills.

Personally, and a lot of people will agree with me that the first film, Creature From the Black Lagoon is the best of the trilogy, but I believe that the others are awesome to. As the films progresses, the Gill Man comes up with even more strategies to kill his victims, such as drowning them, or killing them with his bare hands. In the third film, he is turned into a near human creature, now killing his victims completely on land. It’s also funny that in an episode of The Munsters, the creature plays Uncle Gilbert (get it), and the creature even makes an appearance in The Monster Squad. It is also rumored that a Creature from the Black Lagoon remake is in the works, but we all know how that will turn out. Look at the Planet of the Apes and The Day the Earth Stood Still remakes.

In conclusion, the Gill Man is iconic and grandiose, no matter what his crimes are. He is vicious, gruesome, and kjust plan evil, just like all movie monsters should be. I hope you enjoyed Part 2 of my Halloween Fridays series. Stay toon next Friday for another great episode, where I will review a monster that probably all of you are familiar with. Good day to all!

Halloween Fridays Part 3

Welcome back to another Halloween Fridays tribute. Today I will be paying tribute to one of the most known and loved movie monsters of all time. He’s big, he’s hairy, and he comes straight from Skull Island. Don’t know who I am talking about yet. It’s of course King Kong. I love King Kong, and for many reasons. He is so iconic, he has inspired countless elements of entertainment. From Donkey Kong, to Mighty Joe Young, to that epic remake by Peter Jackson, King Kong is one of the best movie monsters ever to be seen on film.

The 1933 film is the best one in my opinion, and a lot of people will agree with me. It has that classic movie appeal, as well as great acting, and the best stop motion animation I have ever seen. Can you believe it was made in 1933? The animation is so convincing, it looks like they used a real ape, and real dinosaurs instead of models. But anyway, in this epic 105 minute film, King Kong fights a T-Rex, a Stegosaurus, and a pteranodon. In a deleted scene, King Kong even fights a giant spider, and annihilates that arachnid. In the final minutes of the film, your heart is pounding, as King Kong climbs the Empire State Building in one of the greatest movie finales of all time. As Kong grips Anne with his hand, he violently dashes his other hand at the incoming planes, and he roars at the top of his longs.

As the years went by, King Kong starred in many more films. He even fought Godzilla in King Kong vs. Godzilla from 1962. A remake of the film was made in 1976, and let me tell you, it’s stinks like feces. A stuntman portrays Kong instead of that epic stopmotion animation. A stuntman! And would you believe they made a sequel, King Kong Lives in 1986, that stinks even more, both films portraying Kong in a pitiful and almost befuddled manner. But the 2005 film released by Peter Jackson was great, bringing back that classic Kong appeal we all know and love. Even though Kong is digital, he is still quite charming, like that epic stopmotion animation from 1933.

In the end, when you hear Kong, your are hearing classic. King Kong is timeless, and in my opinion, is the best movie monster of all time. He’s vicious, he’s strong, and he will break the jaw of any dinosaur. Well, I hope you enjoyed part 3 of Halloween Fridays, and hope you will tune in next Friday for a tribute to a monster that’s bitter sweet, but still epic.

Halloween Fridays Part 4

Boooooo! Welcome back to another episode of Halloween Fridays here on my blog. Today, it’s time to take a look at a famous movie monster from one of my favorite sci-fi films. Well, to be quite honest with you, he’s not really a monster at all, he’s a robot. Of course I am talking about the epic cyborg from Robert Wise’ epic motion picture, The Day the Earth Stood Still, known as the Gort.

Now, if you are wondering who the heck the Gort is, I will explain. The Gort is a cyborg who is eight feet tall and accompanies Klaatu, an alien to Earth. He is mute, but shoots a beam from the visor in his face that can demolish any weapons and other matter. Now according to Klaatu, the Gort is part of a special police force on their homeworld. He is programmed to “restore peace” and respond the violent actions. As quoted by Klaatu “There is not limit to what could do. He could destory the Earth”.

The Gort is loosely base upon Gnut, a green robot from Harry Bates’ short film “Farewell to the Master” from 1940.  And even though the Gort is mute, he can take out any order given to him. He also responds to hand signals and signals with a flashlight, as seen in the movie. In my opnion, he looks like a cross between Iron Man, Frankenstein’s monster and Geordi La Forge from Star Trek. And don’t forget Cyclops when he shoots them beams from his eyes. For a majority of the film, a large statue was used for the Gort, instead of a live action stuntman, but a stuntman was used for when the Gort gets up and starts walking around.

In the 2008 remake, the Gort is much taller and appears much darker in color. Also in this film, the Gort stands for Genetically Organized RoboticTechnology. Also a major different is that the Gort is made in CGI, instead of a statue or stuntman, and he also appears much more flexible and thinner than the Gort in Wise’s film. He can also transform in this film, from a humanoid and even a massive cloud. But just because he is much different, doesn’t mean he doesn’t have his trademark visor and beam blasting ability. Even to this day, the Gort still remains one of the best and well known movie robots of all time, next to C-3P0 and Maria.

Halloween Fridays Finale

Welcome to final installment in the Halloween Fridays series for this year. Today is Halloween Eve, and in honor of this spooktacular holiday, I will be paying tribute to three classic movie monsters today. These monsters are the Thing, the Invisible Man, and of course, the Wolf Man. What do these three have in common, I have no clue, but they are classics and my book and will be honored in this year’s Halloween Fridays Finale.


The Thing



The Thing comes straight the 1930s novel, Who Goes There, but he is best known for his role in Howard Hanks’ classic 1951 film, The Thing From Another World. The monster is far different in the movie than he is in the book, but that only makes him more iconic. Instead of him multiplying like in the novel, he can regrow limbs, and in the book, his skin is made of a certain material so he can take on the form of others, for in the movie, his skin is made of something similar to a vegatable and it feeds on blood.The Thing in the film may be a hell of a lot different, but still is badass. Though he doesn’t kill a lot of people in this film, he still is vicious, and capable of doing a lot of things us humans cannot do. And you don’t even know when this guy is going to show up in the movie, he just shows up out of nowhere, getting our adrenaline going. In my opinion, this creature is similar to the persona of Frankenstein’s Monster in the classic 1931 film, but seems to be a little smarter and more intelligent. He’s not a sad, confused creature trying to find his purpose in the world, he’s just a plain old mean alien that kills and causes a lot of chaos. In the 1982 remake, the creature is portrayed in a vile, bloody manner. He is also like he was in the novel, able to take the shape of others. As the Thing kills something and takes on it’s form, it rips out of it’s victim, resulting in blood, guts, and strains of mash spagetti. There is even a seen where it rips itself out of a dog. In the end, the Thing in this film is slightly better than the one in 1951 film, but still has issues. You can not watch this movie without getting sick to your stomach. It’s gruesome, vulgar, and just plain disgusting. Another remake is in the works, but God forbid, I don’t know what to expect.


The Invisible Man



What a film. Directed by the director of Frankenstein, James Whales, the Invisible Man is a dark, twisted tale of a man who is invisible. No dah. But what makes this man so unique is the effects on him. They are so awesome, it makes you wonder. How the heck did they do it? Based upon the H.G. Wells novel, the Invisible Man is a doctor named Jack Griffith who turned himself invisible during a science experiment. Now, he is unable to turn himself back. So, in order to find a cure and return to his normal state, he does everything, from robbing to killing, even running around the town in his pants. It’s a good thing he was invisible. The voice of the Invisible Man is great. Claude Rains did a fantastic job playing the role of the mad scientist, and went on to play other famous monsters like the Wolf Man’s father and the Phantom of the Opera. The Invisible Man can also be two people at the same time. He can be magnamious, showing mercy and care, and be a ranting, raving psycho at the same time. He’s also cruel, making carsgo off a cliff and going around, tormenting the citizens of his town. The freakiest part is the scene where Griffith strips out of his clothes, revealing his invisible body.  All I can say is that the Invisible Man is still a classic movie monster, even if he is whacked in the head.


The Wolf Man

Played by Lon Chaney Jr. the son of the Man of a Thousand Faces, the Wolf Man is one of the most iconic movie monsters of all time. Out of all the werewolf movies out there, this one if truly the most well done and the most famous, and for many reasons. The Wolf Man, aka Larry Talbot is a confused misfit who has been bitten by a werewolf. The movie is made so that it is unclear whether he is turning into the werewolf physically or mentally. But then, they show the Wolf-Man, depicting it as real. Then he goes chasing people throughout the city, including the main female character, Gwen. The transformation of the Wolf-Man is a little slippy, but still has that edge to it. It’s just a standard fading effect because as anyone could guess, they didn’t have the money nor technology to make special effects as of 1941. The film is mainly about the enemy within, rather than the enemy on the outside. Though the Wolf-Man was a monster, his alter ego  was to deal with a lot of things. In the beginning of the film, he buys a silver stick, representing a wolf, foreshadowing his transformation into the wolf. Then, as the film progresses, the villages keep reciting a poem, until the moment when Larry is bitten by the werewolf. The only time when the Wolf-Man is awakened is when there is a full moon, a great symbol of a character’s transformation from a normal guy to a cold, vicious creature.

Well, that’s all folks. That ‘s this year’s set of Halloween Fridays, but don’t worry your behind off. I will be back with many fun filled posts in the near future, but for now, all I can say is Happy Halloween to all, and remember, a creature is not judged for who he is, but for what’s inside of him.

Disney's A Christmas Carol Review

Hi, guys, I am back with another movie review, and today, it’s on Disney’s A Christmas Carol. Now, we all know the story of Ebenezer Scrooge and what occurs in this story, so I am not going to go into much detail, but I will start off the review by saying,

WWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! What a movie this was, I really enjoyed it. The 3-D effects in this movies were spectacular. I just wanted to reach my hand out and touch the people on the screen, that’s how realistic the effects were in the film. The acting, the character development, and overall the story was just right, and in the end, this is one of the best versions of the classic story ever to be released.

Jim Carrey is someone that I never suspected to play Scrooge. Surely he played the Grinch, the Riddler and all them other classic characters, but I could never picture him as crass, callous Mr. Scrooge. But he really did pull it off, and he turned out just as good as Scrooge McDuck and Michael Caine, but nobody can beat George C. Scott’s portrayal. Jim Carrey also plays the ghosts in this film, even the Ghost of Christmas Future, who in my opinion was the ghost that stood out the most. I also enjoyed how fat and bumbling the Ghost of Christmas Present was, he never stopped laughing. Some other actors have roles in this film, including Gary Oldman, Bob Hoskins, Colin Firth and many more.

Now back to those awesome special effects. First and for most, if you are going to see this film, see it in 3-D, it’s absolutely worth it. Now, I am not going to spoil much about the effects, but I will say that their jumpy, high-flying and some of the best effects on film. The scene with the Ghost of Christmas Present was the best effect in my opinion. I also enjoyed the scene where Scrooge is sent flying through the air while trying to catch the Ghost of Christmas Past. It makes me wonder sometimes how they are able to do things like this. Now, there is one little thing that I would like to say, because like I said before, no movie is perfect, just like no person is perfect. I really didn’t like how choppy and undeveloped some parts of the film, particularly Scrooge’s past, and for a person like Jim Carrey,I thought he would bring some comedy and enlightment into the character of Scrooge. But I did really love this film.

Overall, A Christmas Carol was an excellent film, even better in 3-D. If you want to get into the holiday spirit, I truly recommend this film, because it truly is worth calling a holiday classic. It’s surely on par with some of Zemeckis’ other animated films like The Polar Express and Beowulf, and may even surpass them.

Santa Claus 1959 Review

Hey, everyone! It’s that time of year again and why not kick off the most wonderful time of the year with some smashing movie reviews.  Now, as everyone is aware, there are a lot of Christmas films out there, my favorite Christmas film being A Christmas Story, but as you know, I like to go one step further and review things that not too many people are familiar with. So, today on this snowy day here in PA, I am going to review Santa Claus. No, not The Santa Clause with Time Allen, not the 1985 Santa Claus film with David Huddleston, I’m talking about the 1959 film made in Mexico.

What a strange movie this is, where do I even start. First off, I will point out that Santa doesn’t even live at the North Pole, he lives in Outer Space. So, does this mean that…..Santa Claus is an alien? There are also no elves. Instead, Santa uses children from all over the world to carry on the labor of making toys for the children of their kind. How terrible is that! And Santa Claus in this film can not be trusted. All he does is talk and laugh alot, he’s like the Ghost of Christmas Present from A Christmas Carol. He also mentions Jesus Christ, the reason Christmas is in existence. How odd is it that Santa Claus, one of the most well known figures of Christmas makes a reference to Jesus? That like if Batman made a reference to Bob Kane, or Kermit the Frog made a reference to Jim Henson. But hey, no biggy. I believe in Jesus, and realize the true meaning of Christmas is beyond gifts.

The villain in this film is a devil named Pitch. Yes, there is a devil in a Christmas movie. A movie that is supposed to be jolly and happy has a devil smack dab in the middle of it. He was sent by Satan to Earth to make children act up and cause trouble. If Pitch fails, Satan will make him, get this, eat chocolate ice cream. I guess the ice cream served in hell is toxic of something. But anyway, a lot of things occur in this film, and it really is chaotic and obsolete, but I will some it all up in a few sentences.

Santa must help a little girl named Lupita, who is very poor, and a little boy named Billy, who’s greedy, negligent parents forget all about him. Along the way, Santa Claus visits Merlin the Wizard from King Arthur, another random accurence. They minus well have Darth Vader, and Optimus Prime, and while your at it, Ash from the Evil Dead movies. Pitch also tries to stop Santa Claus by removing the chimneys from houses and starting fires in the fire places.  There is even a scene where Santa takes on Pitch, and I gotta tell you, this scene actually made me crack up pretty bad. The cheesy action scenes made back in the days just have that charm that gives out a little comedy. At the end of the film, Santa give Lupita and Billy their desires and returns to his castle in space.

Overall, it’s not a good movie, but it’t not entirely too bad. If you need a unique and awkward Christmas film to watch, I say check this one out, because it is worth a watch. But I wish they didn’t call this film, Santa Claus. What does that have to tell us. It should have been called Santa Claus vs. The Devil or The Awkward But Witty Santa Claus film. But in the end, it’s pretty good for what it is and I say, give it a watch.

Stay tuned because all of this week, I will be reviewing Christmas films, old and new. Feliz Navidad!

Home Alone Series Review

Hi, guys, I’m back with another Christmas movie review. Today, I am going to give you my overview of the Home Alone franchise. Now, I am not going to go into a lot of detail with the films, because this would probably take up all the space on my home page,  but I just wanted to give you my own opinion on each Home Alone films in the franchise, even the repulsive abomination Home Alone 4. So grab your stocking cap and you bag of peppermint sticks, because this is a very special Home-Alone-A-Thon. Enjoy!

The first Home Alone film was released in 1990, 4 years before I was born. I first saw the movie when I was around 5 or 6 years old, and I was blown away. It was so funny and so clever, I couldn’t get enough of it. I watched it even after Christmas. As I watched it throughout the years, Home Alone slowly became one of my favorite movies of all time. I just went head over heals with the cheesy acting, the boobie traps Kevin sets up to stop the bad guys, and the theme of the story, that being with family and friends during the holidays is the most important thing of all. The acting in this film is just wonderful.Macaulay Culkin is spot on for Kevin, I don’t think any kid could pull it off like he did. My favorite line from the film is when Kevin says “When I get married, I’m living alone!” And who can forget that classic scene where Kevin screams, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! To this day, it is still one of my favorite quotes. Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern are also perfect as Harry and Marv. The things that Kevin does to them are hilarious.

I always loved the part where Kevin cuts the rope when the robbers are climbing across to his treehouse, and they yell that yell that only Harry and Marv can pull off. Though the film is incredible, it still has it’s flaws. The part where Kevin climbs on his brothers shelves and breaks them is a questionable scene. Kevin doesn’t even bother cleaning them up, nor go looking for his brother’s tarantula that got loose during the chaos. I also find it odd that Kevin doesn’t even bother returning the toothbrush he stoled from a store (Is this toothbrush approved by the American Dental Association?) But no matter what is wrong with this film, Home Alone is one of the greatest holiday classics of all time. It teaches us that through honesty and caring, that anything in this world is possible, even if it means giving up the things we want most.

Home Alone 2: Lost in New Year is perhaps my favorite of the series. Kevin isn’t home along this time though, he is lost in New York after getting on the wrong plane, and this time, he is getting into a lot more mischief than before. What I always liked about this one this that it had a lot more layering to it. Kevin has a lot more freedom than he did in the first film, and has some assisting from an old bird woman. I also loved how this film had more locations than the first. I always loved the whimsicalness and charm of Duncan’s Toy Chest and the broken warehouse of Kevin’s uncle’s house. There are also more traps, more cheesy dialogue and more charm than the first. I love the part when the bird woman dumps bird seeds all over Marv and Harry and the bird fly in and start eating off them. I just love the way Marv screams, it always cracks me up. Overall, it’s a wonderful, charming little film that always gets me into the holiday spirit. Unlike the first one, it’s about helping others and making friends, and sharing the joy of Christmas with all people. It’s also a great way to show the glory and beauty of  New York around the holidays.

Home Alone 3 is not that bad in my opinion, I don’t know why people put it down the way they do. Surely it’s much, much different than the first 2, but it’s not that bad of a film. This time around, they decided to do something different. Instead of Kevin, there is a kid named Alex, and instead of Harry and Marv, there are four guys and a girl. This movie takes place after Christmas, how ironic, and unlike the other films, the robbers have a purpose for robbing houses. They are looking for a computer chip that just happens to be in little Alex’s toy car. By the way, the kid playing Alex is in fact named Alex in real life. You may know him from films like Max Keeble’s Big Move. Anyway, the story is actually quite solid and thought out, and has a creamy chocolate center like the others. The traps in these films are also very unique and creative as well. One of the traps I especially like from the film is the lawn mower that comes down on the guys head and gives him a bad haircut.

And this film, the kid is not left home alone because of the parent’s mistakes. He is sick with the chicken pox and his caring mother goes off to work, leaving him home alone. And for a kid his age, it is odd that he can work large machines and work with electrical wires. That’s what makes me wonder, how are small children like Kevin and Alex able to build the booby traps to torture the robbers. But we all know that it all adds to the charm of each film. There is also, like in the others, the person in the film that is at first viewed as the enemy, but redeemed by the end of the film. In the first film, it is the old man, in the second film, it’s the bird woman, and in this one, it’s the cranky neighbor Mrs. Hess. Overall, it’s a pretty good film. I just wish I could wash away the filth in other’s eyes, making them put this film down with dismay. It’s not at all bad, it’s just viewed as bad.

And yes, there is Home Alone 4. If you look at the DVD cover for the film, it says Home Alone 4: Taking Back The House. This is one of those films I can’t realy explain that well. It’s so awkward and dull, it’s more like a home movie than part of the Home Alone franchise. It barely qualifies as a motion picture. But hey, others people have already described their hatred for this film, but I will just take it easy on the film, because like it is billed, it is a Home Alone film, but not in anyway the best film of the series. I will start out by saying that this film is more like a reboot to the series rather than a sequel. It is not in anyways a follow up to the first two films, and is not part of the initial Home Alone timeline. Kevin’s parents are divorced, and unlike the classic first two, there are not that many people living in their house. Kevin doesn’t even have as many brothers and sisters as he did in the first film. The ages of most of the characters have also been reduced. And perhaps the worst thing in this film is that Harry, played by Joe Pesci, is no more. Instead, Marv is accompanied by a stuck-up broad named Verra. And what’s up with Marv in this film, he looks more like Harry from the first two films.

There are also very little humor and entertainment in this film. There isn’t even many traps in this film, just the characters in this film running around like a bunch of loonies. Kevin is not near funny and clever as he was in the first two films, and the overall feeling and charm that was present in those films is no more. As a matter of fact, now that I think about it, I think I know what happened. They waited until the last minute to make this piece of crap, so they just slapped it together like some preschool play. They didn’t work on the story, they didn’t write the characters like they should have been written, and it seems as if they just made this film in a matter of days. It looks as if somebody just shot the entire thing with a cheap camcorder. It was given no effort, no correct story, and the final result really shows. If I could go back in time, I would do this movie over, the way it’s supposed to be. I would bring back Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, and all the others, write the story with pride and make the film the right way, because in the end, this film is just nothing more than a cheap, careless mistake that some lazy people just thought of.

Well, that’s my review of all the Home Alone films. I hope you enjoyed, and I will be back to do more Christmas films in the near future.

Jingle All The Way Review

The video cover of the film

Joyeux Noel, everyone! It’s time  for another Christmas movie review. Today, it’s going to be a Schwarzenegger flick entitled Jingle All The Way. Now, those who are familiar with this film have either loved it or hated it like yellow snow. What do I think of it? Well I think it’s a pretty good film, but it has many drawbacks that I will get to further in the review. First of all, I don’t think this movie was meant to be taken seriously. I think it was aimed toward young children and meant to give that Christmas blend we all love so much. I also think that some of the things in this film were not needed, but still give the film texture and moral.

The film revolves around a work-obsessed father named Howard, played by Schwarzenegger, who keeps missing out on some of his son’s major events. He tries to make it up to him by buying him a Turbo Man action figure, but he waits until the last minute, so when Christmas Eve rolls around, he is unable to find it. Along the way, he runs into a mailman played by Sinbad, who is also looking for the toy. And in a cheesy act of stunts and dialogue, they run into a lot of trouble and mischief. One of the things I really did not like about the film is that it didn’t seem to go one minute without making a joke. It seemed like every minute, there was some sort of gag or comic relief, especially at the part where a bomb goes off in the one building, and when you thing everyone was killed, they appear to be still alive, but in an unoriginal and cliched way. I also didn’t like how Howard andthe mailman are one minute friends, and the next minute worst enemies. It’s like, gee, you’re a swell guy, thanks so are yo…..Turbo Man Toy! PUNCH! KICK! BANG! THE TOY IS MINE! NO, IT’S MINE!

I also wasn’t really a big fan of Jake Lloyd, who plays Howard’s son, Jamie (he also plays Anakin in Star Wars: Episode I). He seemed to complain alot and didn’t seem to be that intelligent. At the end of the film after a big chase with the mailman at the Christmas parade, he gives the toy to the mailman after being brutally chased by the idiot minutes before. It’s not worth being chased and nearly killed kid, just give the mailman dressed in the Skeletor suit the darn toy! It’s also odd that a Christmas parade like the one in the film is able to perfect a fully functional jet-pack that Howard rides on to catch his son. Who is the man that did at! He deserves a noble prize.

But to be honest, it’s not all bad. I do enjoy the meaning of the story and some of the ideas they had come up with. The warehouse with the Santa Clauses was very original, and I really enjoyed some of the corny, yet entertaining stunts and gags that were in this film. And how many films have Schwarzenegger punch a reindeer! It would be incredible if he were the Terminator, then he could knock that reindeer into oblivion (just kidding). Overall, Jingle All The Way is an “okay” film, but still has it’s flaws. If you are a hard core fan of Christmas films, I say to avoid this film, but if you are in the need of some yuletide entertainment, I say check it out. Put that cookie down!

Santa Claus Conquers The Martians Review

Hi, guys, I am back to do one final holiday movie review. Sorry I was unable to get his review in before Christmas itself, but I became very busy on the final hours of Christmas and was unable to upload the review until now. But I hope everyone had a very good Christmas and got everything they wanted, and hope that everyone who is celebrating Hanukkah and Kwanzaa are having a good time as well. But anyway, onto the review.

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is a very odd and outlandish film with many strange and odd things going on in it, but I still find it very entertaining and magical. The movie begins with a cute animation of Santa Claus putting up the credits, and cute little children singing a song of holiday cheer. There is even a typo in the credits that says Custume Designer. But I will guarantee you that this chant will be stuck in your head for many hours to come. We than cut to Santa Claus being interviewed by a news reporter, totally killing off the magic and wonder of Santa Claus. That’s like in Batman and Robin where Batman and Robin, who in the comics like to avoid spotlight and photography, participate in an auction to see which girl they get. Then, there are the martians with car parts glued to their heads that use tickle rays to torture other martians. That would be cool if they had them on Earth, maybe prisoners would give into playful torture rather than painful.

But anyway, an old wizard appears to the martians saying that Mars stinks because there is no Santa Claus to bring Christmas cheer, telling them to go kidnap Earth’s Santa. The only problem is that they can’t tell who is the real Santa Claus because of all the other people dressed like Santa, so they kidnap two children and make them lead them to the North Pole, as they are attacked by a polar bear and, get this, a giant robot. The robot then breaks into Santa’s workshop where it attacks elves and comes face to face with Santa himself. So Santa is kidnapped by the martians, and you would think that he would conquer the martians like the titles says right. No, instead, he just makes the martians all warm inside and they all have a good laugh.Now, you think the movie would end by this point, but instead a bad martian comes loose and attacks the other martians. Then the other martians attack them with Santa’s toys and go totally haywire on him. This is the scene that really stands out like a sore thumb, because it is just one sick, twisted, mad scene. I have never seen anything like it.

Overall, it’s a weird film, but I still think it’s pretty cool. If you are in the mood for something different, and I mean different, I recommend this film, but if you are not, avoid it at all costs. But  I wonder what the remake of this film would be like. What would the effects be like? Who would be the director? I hope everyone enjoyed my review, and I hope everyone has a good New Year. See you in 2010!

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers 2010 Remastered Thoughts

Surely everyone is familiar with the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, a TV show from the 90s that has gone on to become a cult classic and milestone in American television. Though the show was made off of stock footage from the Japanese show, Kyoryu Sentai Zyuranger, it was an obsession of many children of the time, including myself. I love this show, and think it is one of the greatest inspirations for many of my stories, but many people had asked me what my thoughts are on the 2010 reedit. Well, all I can say is that it’s alright, but it is surely not needed.

I mean, come on, who needs this stupid comic book appeal. The show was fine just the way it was. Surely they could have cleared it up a bit and made the sound better than it was before, but was there any reason why they had to give it this stupid, useless, comic book imagery. It makes the show look campy, childish, and worse than it was before. It also ticks me off that they have little slides telling us what the zords are (when the Mastodon appears, a yellow slide appears saying “Mastodon). Do we need to be told what they are, come on. Every Power Rangers fan knows that the zords are. No, I know that it is supposed to expand the show to a wider audience, but I think that it’s just dumbing it down.

Despite all that, it is truly magnificent. Seeing the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers on television again is something I’d thought I’d never see. It is good to watch this show and flashback to watching it in your youth. The nostalgia is so strong, it burns. Literally, it burns. But it is so good to see the first and the BEST Power Rangers show once more. But the comic book effects and the girly borders and stuff are unneeded. Other than that, it’s awesome.

X-Men: The Arcade Game Retro Review

It's about time I review a real gem from the golden reign of arcade games, a game released in 1992 from the exemplary gaming company, Konami, which brought us masterpieces like Castlevania, Contra, several Batman games, and of course, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles games, which have been praised by many turtles fans all over the world. The game is X-Men: The Arcade game, the action-packed, side-scrolling beat em up game that has become a cult classic in many gamers' books, praised for it's unique gaming style, design, and story, which was very complex and suspenseful for a video game of it's time. Released several months before the debut of what would become one of the greatest animated series ever to grace the TV screen, X-Men: The Arcade Game was one the first times we would see the X-Men at their prime, the way they were in the comics, and showed what they were actually capable of with their UNCANNY abilities (no pun intended), a HUGE departure from the dreaded gameplay, design and feel of both NES X-Men games from LJN. The game had a lot to offer, and would be responsible for getting several people into the X-Men fandom, motivating them to further study the X-Men universe and read the comics, and would set the groundwork for several other X-Men games to follow, games spanning both the SNES and Sega Genesis like X-Men: Mutant Apocalypse and X-Men 2: Clone Wars. And I extraordinary love it. Sure it doesn't hold a candle by today's standards and the voice over acting in this game is enough to make someone barf in a toilet, but it is one of the greatest side-scrolling video games I have ever had the opportunity of playing, and even with other games in the same genre constantly getting the spotlight, I always find a special place for this game, for it was one of the first superhero games of it's kind, a kick-butt, crime fighting epic with swift controls, fluent gameplay, clashy, comic book like cutscenes and effects, and something that further increases the replay  value for me, unlimited continues. No game over screens, no try again screens, you can play until the very end, making this kinda like a motion picture or better yet, an awesome episode of the hit Fox Kids X-Men television series that puts you in control, and only you can decide which characters will take part in a certain mission and what specific methods and attacks will be used.



But before we begin the savor this tasteful piece of cake, we must first go into a little bit of back story, for there is always an intriguing back story for everything and explanation as to how something came about. In 1989, Marvel Productions and Toei Animation came together in attempts to produce an X-Men animated series, producing a pilot episode entitled X-Men: Pryde of the X-Men. Narrated by Stan Lee and featuring some familiar voice actors like Frank Welker, the animated short was not met very well from a critical standpoint, fans saying it was too corny and campy, different from the X-Men we all know and love from the comics, who were often involved in more darker, adult oriented situations. So the people at Marvel started from scratch and began to develop what would become the critically acclaimed Fox Kids television series, which I hold at high regards for being one of the many things that got me into comic book literature. But even with the hype of the 1992 animated series soaring to an unreachable level, X-Men: Pryde of the X-Men was not entirely laid to waste. The animated style of the short and the designs of the characters and settings would inspire the overall look and feel of the X-Men arcade game, the X-Men characters in the game wearing the exact same costumes they were wearing in Pryde of the X-Men, and I think everyone will agree with me that this game has a lot of cheesy dialogue just like Pryde of the X-Men did. I also can't help but feel that the characters carry that Jack Kirby essence to them, their designs and appeal very reminiscent of Kirby's illustrations and designs, as well of the artwork of Jim Lee, who was well known for drawing the X-Men comics throughout the early 1990s. The style of the game is also very identical to the 90s TV show at times, the characters having this shadowy, darker look to them, particularly in cutscenes and action sequences. But enough talk about that matter, let's get into the game itself, because I can't stress enough how great of a game this is, and how much I recommend it to any hard-core X-Men guru, for their are characters for everyone to choose from and play as, and visuals that really add to the feel and nature of each level.

There are six X-Men the player can play as, the beam blasting Cyclops with his optic blasts, the claw slashing Wolverine with his adamantium claws of fury, the tin head Colossus with his ability to turn his flesh into pure metal, the blue skinned Nightcrawler with his teleporting ability, the Weather Witch Storm with her ability to control the weather, and the less popular Dazzler with the ability to turn sound vibrations into light and energy beams. The game is a one and a two player game, meaning you can play the game by yourself or play alongside a buddy to kick some metallic Sentinel rump. The controls of this game can be summed up in one word. FABULOUS! They are flawless, fluent, and easy to use, unlike the controls in previous X-Men games where the characters' attacks were as effective as a toothpick. You can easily move up and down the screen, move left and right, as well as punch, kick, and use special attacks on enemies, which in my eyes, come in handy any day. You can also do several combo moves which often is useful in taking out enemies that take quite a few more hits to destroy than other enemies. The mutant attacks are very destructive, and can wipe out all enemies in your path, however, they can take away three of your health points and when a character gets below four health points, they are unable to continue using their mutant abilities. Luckily, there are several power ups and bonus powers the player can retrieve along the way, and the player can store them away to use later, similar to the Golden Axe video game series. The powers are also very prudent when taking on the bosses of the game, for they can allow the boss to get weaker and eventually bite the dust. Some characters do better than others in some boss stages, for example, I find Wolverine very useful in the Juggernaut stage, for his claws give him great range when attacking and jumping, allowing him to hit the enemy precisely and efficiently, even though Juggernaut is carrying a ginormous bazooka. How excessive!

You will be put up against many enemies in this game, members of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants such as Pyro, Blob, Juggernaut, the White Queen (Emma Frost), savage beasts like Wendigo and Nimrod, Nightcrawler's shapeshifting mama, Mystique, and the big man, the head honcho himself, Magneto, Master of....okay, now I'm getting ahead of myself. The bosses are pretty easy once you get the hang of it, although I have a slight gripe with Magneto, who gets quite annoying with his protective ray shields and destructive cosmic blasts. Which brings me to many aspects of the game that really make my blood boil. Just because the gameplay is consistent and the controls are fluent doesn't mean that this game is entirely easy by any means. Oh no, there are some parts of the game that just wanna make you rip every piece of hair out of your head, trust me. As I stated before, some enemies take quite a few hits to bring to an end, particularly the multi-colored Sentinels and "Samus Arans" with over-sized sci-fi blasters. One thing I really don't get is why the Sentinels are the same size as the X-Men. In the comics and the 90s TV show, they were HUGE and it took quite a few X-Men to take out just one. But in this game, the X-Men can take out a whole herd of these mechanized freaks in no time, but hey, it's the video game universe, a lot of things don't make sense.A giant sized Sentinel eventually does make an appearance in this game, but it's only for a brief moment, the Sentinel shooting lasers from his eyes at the X-Men from a far distance. Another thing that really drives me cuckoo is the incoherent appearance of Mystique. At first you will be tricked into thinking she is Professor X, and then she will disguise herself as Magneto, and trick you into thinking it is the final battle of the game. When I first fought against Mystique disguised as Magneto and found out it was really Mystique at the end, I was really surprised and furious and ticked off that there was left one more battle in the entire game, and it was against the real Magneto, the real thing, no blue bimbo in disguise, this was the real Eric Lenscherr, magnetic powers and all. It's kinda like in Super Mario Bros when you get to the castle, beat the king koopa Bowser, and find out that Princess Peach is in another castle. What a rip off! Everybody knows how frustrating video games can be at times, and this could really add to the frustration of somebody who is playing the game for the first time, I know how it feels. And how could I do a review of Konami's X-Men and not mention the goofy voice acting of the characters of this game. I'm sure everybody's up there with me when I say that the voices are cute and funny at first, but after listening to them 700,000 times, they just wanna make you stick a banana up your ear like Ernie did on Sesame Street. The voices, though catchy and iconic, can get quite annoying at times, especially when fighting enemies and getting hit by enemies, for characters might scream or make a slight grunting noise. But one of the prominent reasons why this game is so iconic is because of some of the quotes spoken by the characters in this game, let's have a look at some, shall we?

X-MEN, WELCOME TO DIE! 


NOTHING MOVES THE BLOB! 


I AM MAGNETO, MASTER OF MAGNET! 


 GO AND SAVE THE CITY! 


X-CHICKEN! 


GO AND RESCUE KITTY FROM THE CAVE! 


HA! HA! HA! Every time I hear those lines, I burst out laughing. And Magneto's laugh heard in some parts of the game is quite funny as well, but the voices in this game are hands down some of the most repetitive, most redundant sounds ever to be put into a video game. It can really make putting a boss out of his misery a piece of work, you might wanna put in a pair of earplugs. But even with minor complaints like that, it still doesn't bring down the glory of this game. This game is visually stunning, and the attention to detail really makes this a piece of art, for if you look closely into the backgrounds of each stage, you can see things moving or things emerging to the surface, particularly in the Sentinel factory stage and the Island stage. And the final battle with Magneto puts you into a room with a huge window, showing the entire city of Asteroid M below, really adding to the depth and realism of the game, even though it is a 2-dimensional side scrolling game based off the renowned X-Men series. There are times where the game goes for a more 3-D like appeal, for the characters and platforms move in a certain manner or position, and really make the game feel more vibrant and eye popping in many ways, for it is a great departure from the standard 2-D action and movement. This game is also quite colorful, like the comics, like the 90s TV show, and each character is easily recognizable in their costumes and clad, featuring many characteristics that differentiate them from one another, allowing each person that plays the game to have a personal favorite or character they like to play as. My favorites are Wolverine, Nightcrawler and Colossus, for they have swift, agile abilities that really take the cake in sending enemies to kingdom come and fighting some of the hardest bosses in video game history. The other characters are great as well, and you can really find certain areas of the game where all characters are useful in either taking out enemies or getting from one area to the next. The same thing applies with X-Men: Mutant Apocalypse, for you will often find certain areas of the game where a certain X-Man is needed to get through each obstacle swiftly and without any harm.

These are the essential things that make up for a groundbreaking video game, and Konami's X-Men arcade game meets up to these things perfectly. Sure it is similar to what Konami did with the Spider-Man and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles arcade games, but it has a that retro X-Men feeling to it that no other X-Men game could topple. The controls are great and really make defeating enemies much easier than what it was in previous X-Men games, and the style, the tone, and the overall look of the game really makes this a sight to behold. This is truly one of the greatest X-Men games ever to grace the face of the Earth, and you shouldn't hesitate one bit to play this awesome Marvel masterpiece that is one of the glowing marks of the entire 90s. It really shows the X-Men the way they were meant to be seen, what they are able to do and what they want to do to save the day, what they want to do to stop Magneto and his evil forces who want to vandalize society and all those who oppose mutant kind. I guess the only other thing I should say about X-Men: The Arcade Game is THE MUSIC IS EXCELLENT, CHARMING, HARMONIOUS, BRILLIANT, PURE ARCADE MUSIC GOODNESS! The music of this game is one of the best soundtracks to any arcade I have ever heard, and every time the tunes of this game grace the inners of my ear, I immediately know what game the tunes come from. From the opening title sequence to the very end credits, the soundtrack of this game is very, well, shall we say, "X-Meny", very appropriate for one of the best superhero video games ever to hit the arcades. Find the nearest arcade in town, download the game to a CD-ROM, download it to your X-Box or PS3, I heard that version allows up to six players! Do something, because this is a X-Men game all will enjoy, comic bookers and video gamers alike. You will surely not be bored!

GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra Movie Review

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. Now, being the hard core movie reviewer that I am, I try to go easy on films, and even though they are bad, I still try to think of good things to go in the place of the bad things. But I will start this review by saying that this was an “okay” film. I like the action scenes and the special effects, but this film just felt a little flat and monotonous. I didn’t make any sense at some parts, and sometimes you are sitting there thinking “Gee, I wish this was the new Star Trek film instead”. But like I said before, it was an “okay” film, so I will go easy on it.

Now, I can honestly say that the 1987 G.I. Joe film was better than this. It made a lot more sense, the story was more thought out, and the characters didn’t seem so dry and grey as they are in this newest film. Conrad “Duke” Hauser and Wallace “Ripcord” Weems are the Kirk and Spock of this film, for they are good friends and stand by each other during maximum battle, but their personality and characteristics are just as dry as the rest of the film. But Snake Eyes (played by Ray Park, who played Darth Maul and Toad) and Storm Shadow are so awesome! The action scenes between the two are incredible and withstands as some of the best sword fighting in a film. Other characters include Scarlet, Heavy Duty, Destro, Hawk, and of coarse, eveyrone’s favorite Cobra baddy, the Cobra Commander, and I must be one of them people that has to state that he looks nothing like he did in the Hasbro toylines or the TV show.

Snake Eyes, played by Ray Park, getting ready to fight

Most of the action scenes were pretty cool, but some just didn’t keep up with the rest of the film. There is a scene were Cobra attacks the Eifel Tower in France, resulting in a chaotic battle between good and evil. The acting is also something to point out in this film. Most of it’s okay, but some of it is just stupid and makes you want to burst out laughing, which was not the film creators’ intention. Another thing I must point out is that, well, some things in this movie just make you fall asleep and miss the rest of the film. There that boring.

So over all, it was an “okay” film, but I expected a lot more from this film. This is also a good time to point out that his was made by Stephen Sommers, the director who made the films we know as “The Mummy”, “The Mummy Returns”, and “Van Helsing”. As a matter of fact, Mummy’s Brendan Frasier makes a brief appearance as a motorcycle sergeant, but I guess whoever saw the film knows that. So overall, it’s a nice little film to watch if you are a G.I. Joe fan, but I feel that you may be a little disappointed. I just don’t feel that it is as good as the Transformers films, or other blockbuster films released around the same time such as Star Trek and Up. But I just thought I would let you know about my thoughts on this film, because “Knowing is half the battle”.

Green Lantern Movie Review

In brightest day, in blackest night, this film has become a critic's fright. Yeh, this film was despised by many movie gurus and comic book lovers alike, criticizing the film's acting, special effects, and efforts to stay true to the groundwork. And I am pleased to tell you all that I am not one of those bashers, and believe that this film has been dumped upon too many times, citizens unable to see this film to it's full potential. I thoroughly enjoyed this flick, it was nothing out of the ordinary, but delivered on levels I thought would not be delivered on, bringing a lot of unique action, special effects, and character development to the table like no other super hero film before it. Green Lantern can go to the grave knowing that there was a mind blowing movie based upon it, and though some did not enjoy this masterpiece like others did, it can still get some recognition for it's prudent attempts to bring the epic tale of Hal Jordan and the whole entire Green Lantern Corps to the big screen. This film filled my mouth with more than I could chew, and in my opinion, is one of the brightest, most dazzling, most astonishing bits of eye candy I have seen in a long time, showing off some mega cool techniques and shortcuts with CGI and giving us memorable characters and locations that will forever loom in our craniums for their colorful characteristics, customs and appeal. This film is very reminiscent of the classic Flash Gordon, the famous Buck Rogers comics and television series, and of course, Star Wars, for it has creatures you won't find in your home area and places that were thought to only exist in dreams. And the power of the ring is like the power of the force, the ring giving all Green Lanterns supernatural, abstract abilities that make them who they are, and giving them the power to strive, the power to fight, and the power to find confidence, bravery, to take out any infamous forces that stand in their way. Like the famous Lantern oath says, "Let those who worship evil's might, beware my power, GREEN LANTERN'S LIGHT!".

First of all, I should point out, I am a total Mr. Bean when it comes to Green Lantern history and mythos. Sure I know all the characters like Sinestro, Kilowog, Tomar-Re and Parallax, but I am not a total expert at the folklore of Green Lantern and always thought there was only one Green Lantern in the DC universe, John Stewart. I grew up watching The Justice League television series on Cartoon Network and never really knew that John Stewart was part of an order filled with hundreds of Green Lanterns, Hal Jordan and Alan Scott included. It wasn't until the animated film, Green Lantern: First Flight arrived on DVD that I really got sucked into the vortex of Green Lantern goodness, learning of Hal Jordan and all the other famous Lanterns gathering on the planet Oa, and this really motivated me to further explore the Lantern universe and what it was all about. I learned of the Lanterns' capabilities, the magical qualities of the power ring, and that there weren't just Green Lanterns, there Blue Lanterns, Red Lanterns, White Lanterns, even Black Lanterns. I wouldn't be surprised if there were Turquoise Lanterns or Chartreuse Lanterns or even Purple Lanterns. It would surely be Barney's dream come true! So with all this Green Lantern adoration building up inside me, I was very cheerful and excited when a Green Lantern film was announced, for I would finally be able to see this whimsical, mystical world that the masterminds at DC have worked so hard to conceive and distribute come to live, come before our eyes in a realistic, life action form. I thought Ryan Reynolds was perfect to play Hal Jordan, even though he has already gotten the spotlight playing another famous comic book character on the big screen, Wade Wilson, Deadpool, in X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Seeing him in the "movie-tized" Green Lanter uniform for the first time was really jaw dropping for me, for he looked so awesome and luminous in it, displaying Hal Jordan in a manner appropriate for the motion picture he was starring in. And even if Hal Jordan isn't as sarcastic and cocky as Deadpool, he can still be the fun loving goofball we all know him as from the comics, always looking for ways to overcome a fight and take out the enemies forces serving Sinestro, his previous mentor. And now, after seeing the Green Lantern film, I can honestly say that this film has met these qualifications flawlessly, making this a film very different from the inked world it was based upon, but still a scrumptious piece of cake in some people's mouths.

I thought Ryan Reynolds pulled the sword out of the stone when it came to playing Hal Jordan, the most iconic and most famous of all the Lanterns. He displayed the character as a clumsy, curious and quite nervous fellow who was afraid to fulfill his dream and become a skilled pilot, witnessing his father's death in a plane related crash when he was a child and fearing he will suffer the same fate. But by the end of the film, Jordan becomes a lot braver, wiser, and secure of himself, as a lot of main protagonists in films do, taking their struggles and fears by the throat and tossing them in the nearest trash container, confronting some of the most dangerous threats known to man. Hal is quite impractical with his Lantern powers at first, getting his rear end handed to him by other Lanterns and almost killing himself on many occasions, especially during flying sequences, but he finally gets used to his abilities and uses them to his advantage when taking out the villainous Parallax, who invades the planet Earth in the film's final act. Reynolds also gives some quite laughable lines of dialogue as Jordan, showing Reynolds' genuine ability to make each role he places a comical role, a role that will not only keep viewers on the edge of their seats, but also provide a few chuckles and heart filled relief during scenes of great tension. And Reynolds is not the only one that gives a grandiose performance. Mark Strong was INCREDIBLE as Sinestro, the mentor of Hal Jordan that would soon become his mortal enemy. He embodies the character and all of his trademarks so perfectly to the point where he is Sinestro, in a similar sense to the way Jack Nicholson portrayed the Joker in Tim Burton's 1989 Batman film. His voice, his actions, his posture, they all fit Sinestro meticulously, and really set in stone what kind of person Sinestro will become by the end of the film, an adversary, an arch-nemesis to all Lantern heroes, the emperor of the Sinestro Corps. I also thought Peter Sarsgaard should get some recognition for his portrayal of Dr. Hector Hammond, the big headed mad doctor who eventually becomes an enemy to Hal Jordan. He played Hammond as an average ordinary scientist who became inflicted with the DNA of Parallax, causing him to loose his mind and become a big brained, telepathic psychopath. I thought it was interesting to see what he brought to the role of Hammond, showing how obsessed and insane Hammond becomes because of his powers and showing that he will not let anyone, especially the Green Lantern, get in the way of fulfilling his evil plans. The voices actors need some credit as well, for they really made the CGI animated characters come to live in a realistic, 3-dimensional form. I couldn't possible think of anyone better to play the voice of Kilowog than Michael Clark Duncan. His rough, deepening voice really added to Kilowog's intimidating, quite threatening persona, showing that the character doesn't mess around and will grind anyone who tries to bring him down into a thick pulp. Captain Barbassa himself, Geoffrey Rush also contributes to this film as the sophisticated voice of Tomar-Re, a noble, yet resourceful character finned headed Green Lantern that introduces Hal Jordan to the world of Oa, which will will talk about next, because it was surely something to rave about.

The world of Oa was one of the most beautiful places I have ever got a glimpse of on film. It was a colorful, exuberant, yet exotic place filled with some of the best CGI I ever saw on film. It introduced many possibilities, showing all the interesting creatures and plants that inhabited the world and how big of a role it played in the Green Lantern order, all the Lanterns gathering on the world to discuss negotiations and things that must be taken into effect for the better protection of the universe. Like Coruscant in the Star Wars prequels, it had a lot to offer in the field of detail and wonder, for we could look at all the awesome things that lurked about on the world and how different it was from our own world, Earth. The scene with all the Lanterns gather as Sinestro gave his speech made my bones rattle, and I honestly felt like Hal Jordan, part of something much, much bigger than myself. And when all the Lanterns shot a beam of green light into the sky with their power rings, the magnitude was too much to handle, and I was literally blown out of my seat by how powerful the scene felt and how pivotal it was in Hal Jordan's character development. I also thought it was quite breathtaking to see what the Lanterns were able to do with there power rings, creating weapons and machinery to train with and to fight villains with. The training session with Hal Jordan and Sinestro continues to stick out in my mind, for it further showed Sinestro's disgust of the human race and the things they take for granted. The relationship between the characters was also intriguing, particularly the relationship between Hal and Sinestro, showing them as master and apprentice, but overtime, as the mentor's beliefs and opinions change, the master becomes the enemy, against all the apprentice's customs and values, against everything to do with the apprentice. I also enjoyed the humorous relationship between Hal and Kilowog, Kilowog wanting to squash Hal like a roach and beat the living tar out of him, but overtime, they become noble allies and work together to overcome evil. I'm sure everyone remembers the hilarious clip with Hal and Kilowog, which appeared in several of the film's TV spots. 

(Kilowog runs up to Hal and sniffs him)

Kilowog: He smells funny!

Hal: I smell funny? 

Ha! Ha! Ha! I still get a charge out of that to this very day. Even without some of the hilarious scenes present in the film, Green Lantern is still a glorious sight to behold. I enjoyed it, even though some people didn't enjoy it, and I personally don't see what everyone hated about it. Maybe it was the special effects, which I'll admit were a bit redundant at times, but I still eye popping in many ways. Maybe it was some of the acting, which I'll admit was a bit choppy and campy at times, but still intense and enjoyable in my eyes. Maybe it was the intense rushing and anticlimactic nature of some scenes. Yeh, a lot of the scenes of this film were a bit too fast and ultra paced, and really made the film a bit shorter than expected, but even that couldn't bring the film down to the ground for me. It was still the super badass Green Lantern film I had hoped it would be, a film that was willing to take risks, blend together most of the comic book material, make the Green Lantern universe a very darker, intense place than what it already was, but it ultimately payed off in the end, and I see great potential in this film spawning many sequels just as Christopher Nolan's Batman films have. Imagine all the things they could do with this newly forming film series, they could bring in all the Green Lantern characters like Guy Gardner, Kyle Rayner, John Stewart, even the original Lantern himself, Alan Scott, and have the Lanterns go up against even greater threats such as the Anti-Monitor and the Sinestro Corps, for there was a scene at the very end of the credits where the now villainous Sinestro accepts the power of fear and puts on the yellow power ring, ready to take out Hal Jordan and all the other Lanterns he once allied with. This is what makes a movie worth wild people, jaw dropping scenes after the end credits. Superhero films have been chalked full with those scenes lately, and no doubt we will see another one of those scenes at the end of the highly anticipated comic book flick, Captain America: The First Avenger. Lord knows what they will do at the end of that film to further tie it in with the upcoming Avengers movie hitting theaters next summer. 

In the end, Green Lantern was a great film in my book, and I really don't understand the problem critics had with this film. Sure, it might have been a little cheesy at times, but haven't they ever seen the 60s Batman film and television series, that too was filled with many cooky moments and things that make you role on the floor laughing. As I always say, it's a matter of opinion, only you can decide whether you like a film or not, and if you back up your claim with the reason as to why you think something is good or something is bad, than you will be praised by many people who will come to agree with you and share similar believes. What might be a catastrophe to some might be a match made in heaven to others, and I personally have films that I love that others despise, this film included. But even if the film is completely and utterly terrible, I always find new and interesting things to enjoy about it, even if there are some things that I roll my eyes at and wish I wasn't apart of. So the Green Lantern was an excellent film in my book, and I'm sure there are some out there that are right up there with me, for with haters, there are also lovers, those who can see great potential in films and see what they were made for. You can really see great things in a film if you really look hard enough, things that will help distinguish it from other films you have seen or will see. And I certainly saw great things in the Green Lantern, things that differentiated it from other superhero films I have seen, things that made this one of the best superhero flicks I have ever seen in my life, things that further raised my love for comic books and comic book movies.