Every few eons, there comes a video game so difficult, that it is known for driving the human race to an uncanny point of lunacy. A video game so relentless, tedious, disorienting, that it makes the player crush the game within a single stroke or perhaps flush the game down the toilet. Silver Surfer for the Nintendo Entertainment System is one of those games, a merciless, sadistic electronic apparatus filled with unfair challenge, incremental infuriation, and an option that makes the game even more harder to drive one to the utter brick of insanity. This is one of the hardest computerized modules any human should ever endure, a game with an extremely elevated level of difficulty and frustration big enough to fill a toilet. How hard is this game, well, you have to play it to find that out, but a perfect simile to sum up this game is "hard as trying to solve the equation for teleportation while blindfolded."
Silver Surfer is always dying. A single whack against the level walls sends him flying off his cosmic surfboard and to the pillowy mounds below. Even a single tap at the tip of his surfboard sends the silver extra terrestrial to his doom. I bet you could even throw a ham sandwich at him and it would still send him to his end miles below. And everytime he dies, you get this shot of him quivering in the center of the screen, bawing like a two year old that got his ice cream cone snatched away by a bully. Let that image sink into your skull. Let it be burned into your brain. Let this be the perfect symbol of all the frustration and anger this game represents. Not even the Silver Surfer could beat this game, nor any superhero or alien life form for that matter.
The enemies in this game are outlandish. Bloodthirsty jack o lanterns, cute little white ghosts, vicious rubber ducks. Ernie was wrong, rubber duckies can make bath time a living hell. Dinosaurs with proton packs, giant flesh eating frogs, orange gargoyles, is this Silver Surfer or that Sonic the Hedgehog TV show from the early 90s? I wouldn't be surprised if Silver Surfer fought a giant chili dog at the end of the level. The enemies in this game are also irrationally erratic. Enemies are constantly flying at you at an unpredictable speed and several different directions. Enemies constantly spew lava over top of you and shoot at you, it''s like the classic Looney Tunes cartoons, only you're dead after 3 tries. With all the enemies firing and coming at you at lightspeed, there is very little space where you can actually avoid hitting the walls or getting hit by the incoming fire. I rather play Superman 64 and if you ever played that game, you know I'm saying a lot.
The difficulty in this game is infamously legendary. It's virtually unbeatable. I have not seen or heard of one person that actually said "HEY! I BEAT SILVER SURFER FOR THE NES!" Not even the Angry Video Game Nerd could overcome this game's horrible fate, nor could any human, even humans with a calm and collective patience beat this game, for it is virtually impossible and overwhelming to orient or make sense of. In order to beat the game, you have to really be zoned in, you have to really concentrate, like REALLY concentrate, keeping an eye out for all obstacles that are coming at you at a fast pace. That's not easy to do, especially for the fact that the screen is moving and Silver Surfer has to keep up with the moving screen or be smashed into the great unknown. Even if you use a turbo controller for this game, I am sure that this game is a royal butt sandwich with extra exaggeration and mouth foaming fury on the side. This game is perhaps the pinnacle of hard games, the grand mother of difficult gaming software, a game not even Albert Einstein or Aristotle could beat. If you beat this game, you deserve a trophy, and I mean, like 5 million trophies.
At least the game let's you select which level you would like to play, but each level is filled with the same amount of infinite difficultly and prudence. Silver Surfer wouldn't last two seconds in the real world. Even if he went to sit down on a couch he would be splattered to a million bits. What if he was like that in the comics. A single punch or blow to the face would send the Silver drone soaring into oblivion. And to think Galactus hired this guy to search for planets for him to eat. Jar Jar Binks would put up a better fight than this guy! If you've played this game, you know the exact frustration I am talking about. I couldn't even get past the first few seconds of the first level until I got the hang of it, and even then, the game was a treacherous travesty. This game is certainly not recommended for those with limited patience and instant anger management over video games. This game will make your eyes bleed, and I mean that in a bad sense, for Silver Surfer will constantly meet his end at every deleterious obstacle that comes in his way. Imagine if you had to play this egg salad as Mario, or Link, or Mega Man, or Simon Belmont with that horrid faulty jump! I rather play E.T. for the Atari 2600, while playing the accordion while dangling on a string over a pool of monstrous crocodiles.
If you want a real challenge, and I mean a real challenge, you're in for a real treat with this game. This game does not take crap. One hit and your dead. And with all the obstacles and enemies coming at you in this game, it makes it even more threatening and angering. What would the real Silver Surfer think of the game that was based upon him? He would probably be very peed of and blow all the game designers away with a single blast. Be in the right kind of mood when playing this game, or else. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to blow up some killer jack o lanterns and make pumpkin pie out of them. Hopefully no killer mutant rubber duckies get in my way!
By the way, I'm just being a dufus! But this game is a real turd though.
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